Lead liners

A recent study has shown that cell phone use can affect sperm quality.  Specifically, a cell phone close to a sperm sample causes that sample to have significantly more free radicals and oxidants in it, which have been shown to decrease viability in sperm.  The test group was small, and it’s unclear whether flesh and bone (or pants pocket lining, for that matter) would protect the spermies enough to keep them basically as healthy as cell phone free sperm.  But that’s a test for another day.

But the idea seems logical.  It’s like ‘The Dip’ from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  If you mix enough random chemicals together, it kills even imagination.  Likewise, too much technology is bad for the sex drive.  It will zap you with its freaky-rays and cause impotence or mutants.  I guess though that mutant children could be useful.  Still, not sure I want to encourage freak show behavior if I can avoid it.  And the whole mutant thing is not even remotely scientifically proven.

There are alternatives.  One would be putting a cell phone in a shirt pocket (of course, then it’s right next to your heart…)  You could use your cell phone less (ridiculous, I know, but it is humanly possible).  Or, there’s always adoption.

Otherwise, just line your Jockeys with lead.  You should be fine.