Will Gnomies never cease?

I was surprised to note that during my recent illness and weekend time-away-from-blog, someone found my page by googling ‘hanging with my gnomies’.  I guess the phrase is becoming ever more popular, as we’re all suckers for corny jokes.  Is that a function of age?  I can remember my dad boring and annoying me consistently with his corny puns, but now that I’m almost out of my 20’s (ack! adulthood looms!), he’s occasionally funny.  Is this an early form of dementia?  Will I someday find even Airplane! (the only movie I ever had to stop watching out of boredom) entertaining?

Some people say that Frank L. Baum’s Nome King was based on the idea of gnomes.  I don’t understand how.   They’re both tricky?  I mean, isn’t it dwarves who work with precious metals and gems usually, rather than gnomes?  Don’t gnomes just steal?  And since when do garde-variety gnomes look like rocks or fear chickens?  Eggs as poison, indeed!  I mean, I’m all for fantasy, but it gets a little ridiculous when your theories try to cross about 5 different fantasy worlds.

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And Now I’ve found the Answer…

To all my job-time blues.  Since E’bess was kind enough to post the link to the Glarkware site, I have discovered this shirt, which seems to indicate that giant things do not fit well in your garden.  While it is a quaint and humorous little thing, it has led me to a solution which will solve all of my financial troubles for the rest of my life.  It capitalizes both on the Texan and American love for things bigger, and the stupid people love for kitsch.  The answer: GIANT gnomes.

Now I know some of you are thinking who would buy a GIANT gnome?  I wouldn’t.  At least not for purposes other than investing in the gnome market and reaping a hefty profit.  But then, you, my reader, are smarter than the average bear.  Or American.  And therefore, you cannot be taken as a true indicator of the market system.  These things are going to bigger than beanie babies and Tickle Me Elmo put together.  Literally.  And what better way to show the awesome driving power of your new behemoth SUV than by loading it up with a GIANT gnome that completely takes over your tiny yard?

If anyone is looking to make a timely investment in GIANT gnomes, please let me know.

Hanging with my Gnomies

I, at the moment, am at a slow point of day with nothing much to do and no ambition to do any more ‘real’ writing.  I asked a friend for a little topic help.  He said I should write about gnomes.

As I am, even late in the work day on a Friday, a dedicated writer, I decided I would at least do a little research.  Lo and behold, I discovered gnomes were not only little earth elementals living underground, but also an entire computer ‘graphical interface’.  For free!

I am referring to GNOME (pronounced Ga-NOME) which is a collaborative effort to collect all the software you need under free licensing.  Basically the idea is to promote user-driven development of software and related stuff and to re-offer it to the larger public across the globe.  Kinda cool, thinks me.

But there are other sides to this word of wonder –  there are also ethical groups concerned with issues that America was founded on – freedom, and equal protection under the law.  Sites like this one help ensure that protection for our gnomen brethren.  And whether you consider them peaceful dwellers of the northern forest, or dirty earth grubbers who hoard their cash, they certainly are ripe for persecution.

While I still haven’t written anything, I have learned a lot.   Gnomes rule, little red hats or no.