Why I should be in a comic strip.

There are times when life (my life, in particular) really is stranger than fiction.  Tonight was one of those times.

Stacey:  I wish I had a magic jelly bean that would take me anywhere I wanted to go.

Nick:  Wouldn’t you want more than one?  I mean, after you ate the first one, you wouldn’t be able to go anyplace anymore.

Stacey:  Why would I eat a magic bean?  That would just waste it.

Nick:  Oh wait, you mean you don’t activate them by eating?  Oh NO!  Where’s my stomach gone…[internal hemorrhaging].

Garlic and Onion Macadamia Nuts

There are a variety of pointless foods that exist in the world.  Other than the example above, however, I can’t think of any offhand.  When i saw them on the ‘available-please take’ counter in our break room, I thought there must be some kind of mistake.  Macadamia nuts are expensive.  But then, they could’ve been a gift given to someone in the office who was allergic.  Or maybe to someone who really doesn’t like nuts, or possibly garlic.  Maybe they were given to Secret Vampire Man, and he had to toss them away instantly in revulsion.  Who knows?  All I know is that the idea of macadamia nuts seasoned with onion and garlic seemed entirely overpowering and a little ridiculous.  So I decided to try one.

It was good – very tasty.  I give it a 4.5 on taste.  On overall value, I’d have to give it a 1.5 or 2 however – who needs seasoning when you have such a tasty nut to start with?  I mean, you might invest in 25 different flavors of peanut butter, but the peanut is a staple crop, rather than a delicacy.  Why waste the effort?  You aren’t going to generate much return anyway, though I guess demand for macadamias might be down, as people turn to more subsistence foods, like rice.  But really, wouldn’t it be more cost-effective to season cardboardy corn poof with the same stuff?  Of course, due to the food shortage, corn poof might not be available, especially as corn can be used as a biofuel.  I will substitute generic food poof instead.  So, why not give generic food poof the essence of onion and garlic, and sell that for a ridiculous price, but at less cost to you?

The answer may lie in fads.  Generic food poof is exactly that, no matter how it’s flavored – generic.  Somehow, people seem to want to buy more of stuff that has been manufactured to be crappier than it once was.  Look at the incredible worldwide love of chees fod (aka cheese food).  Evidently we all want crap, especially when it has that shiny ‘new’ sticker on it.