Got 2 B Elmered

Recently, I was a superhero.  I know that some of you are familiar with my life experience in the superhero world as Anti-Danger, but it is not my only superhero persona.  For Corina’s birthday extended celebration, I took on a new one – White Lightning.

With both the powers of backwoods Bacchus and electric charge on my side, I was ready to have a riotous good time.  Only one thing was in my way – how best to make my hair stand up as if I’d dropped a toaster in the bathwater?  Gel or hairspray weren’t going to cut it for the spiked-out ‘do I wanted to achieve.  I turned to a product called got 2 B glued, which promised ‘ultimate screaming hold’ on its package.  I could use ultimate screaming hold.  Since I’m going for something higher than bride of Frankenstein, hair that screams seemed to be exactly what I needed.

However, I failed to take into account the ‘glue’ nature of the product.  I assumed styling glue to be some new type of product I had failed to notice before.  Heck, I barely even know you want ceramic plates in your straightening iron.  How am I going to know all the names for different types of product?  So i ended up sculpting myself with something of a consistency between Elmer’s and Tacky Glue.  My hands were so stickily slimed that I had to have Gina blowdry for me.  It was great!

Of course, I came out with rock-hard hair that took over an hour to wash out of my short hair, but that’s what comes of pouring glue all over your head and then blow drying it.  And what i really got for $5 was a multi-use product.  Even if i never sculpt my hair with it again, I can count on its super-strong hold for model building or paper mache.

Dumb and OOOHHH!

On my daily commute, I have a distinct pattern.  I knit on the bus, read on the train, and listen to music while I walk.  Occasionally though there is an interruption in this pattern, most notably for NaNoWriMo in November and related editing.  Still, its’ a comfortable pattern for me.  The music is enough of a distraction while I walk to keep me from thinking too hard – various trees already bear the scars of a Stacey face-plant, and I’m trying to be more environmentally conscious.

The knitting thing is a little awkward though.  I always wonder if people are staring at me, the random knitter.  On the bus it’s easier cause I always get a seat,  and there is at least one other knitter girl on my bus occasionally.  But still, it’s a bit unusual.  And a little more unusual when people ask weird questions.

The guy sitting next to me today – attractive, well-dressed, and maybe a little young – commented as we were getting off that I’d ‘made a lot of progress’.  I am not a particularly fast knitter, so my response was probably lukewarm and my facial expressions even more so.  Still, he ventured further to ask if I was knitting or crocheting.  And I responded politely – it’s always nice to have the attention of an attractive guy, even if he is young and a little dumb.  Does anybody really not know the difference between knitting and crocheting?  It’s almost as bad as one of my old bosses finding it inconceivable that someone might know what ‘shoals’ are.  Are we spending any money on advertising our dumbness?

Evidently my  distain must’ve colored something about my response, because he claimed he was just curious and wouldn’t talk to me again after that.  Oops.  I’m such a meanie, but I don’t mean it!  Really!

But since I was thinking about knitting – and grandma skills in general – I was happy to have found this little post.  While I think the  Janome MemoryCraft 4900QC is a little out of my league for the moment, it leaves something to be considered for the future.  A gazillion installed stitches and 50 that you can create and save?  And it includes all the accessories?  Dude.  High-tech, here I come.