I’m typing this mostly by feel, so I apologize for any typos in advance.
Today I had my eye exam before I start up school again in the fall. It’s not that i have some great fear that my eyes are going to pot. It’s only a minor paranoia, a little like the dreams people can have about their teeth rotting out of thier heads. More on that later. Anyway, it’s something I’ve been thinking about, in part because I’m afraid my eyes are getting worse. Things far away have been a little blurrier recently. And soon I may actually have to read things on a blackboard or at a distance. I want to be prepared for that eventuality, just in case.
So I went in, and had all the tests done. Verdict is: I probably don’t need glasses. The doctor said I’m slightly nearsighted, and that he ‘could’ improve my vision. But he also cautioned me that I probably didn’t need glasses, and could potentially damage my eyesight by using them when I don’t really need to. He also mentioned that I could be noticing changes in my vision because of my job. Staring at a computer screen all day is evidently not that good for the eyes. The good doctor explained it as a muscle relaxation malfunction. By excersizing the focus of my eyes for a long period of ime to see at close range, my muscles around the eye are tightening into specific positions. Eventually my ability to relac those same muscles becomes less since they’re locked in place for long periods of the day. He recommended simply taking some time, just a minute ot two, to look away from the computer screen, off into the distance, and consciously relac and resy my eyes for a moment. This could cause my vision to actually improve, and may mean that even in a lage clasrrom I wouldn’t need glasses to see clearly at a distance. Seemed like a good and reasonably idea, so I’ll try it.
It also got me started thinking about my family and the reason why I haven’t needed glasses in the past. I’m an avid reader from a family of readers. I love writing as well. When I was a kid, my dad would have to confiscate my novels to get me to go to sleep (now that I’m an adult, I just stay up all night if I’m in the thrall of a really good one). On car rides, in dimly lit places, across distances short and small, I’ve strained my eyes to read throughout my life. Both my parents and my sisters all have glasses which they require to function on a daily basis. It’s obviously not just good genes that have saved me from completely wrecking my eyesight. It’s equally obviously not good habits. The only thing I’ve been able to come up with thus far (sparked by the good doctor’s comments on how to relive my potential eye strain) is that I’m a space cadet.
I am an extrememly philospophical person. I like pondering the big questions ( or even the little questions) in great detail. My mind wanders twisty little back passages, and I often get lost in them, unwilling to focus again on the world around me. For this reason – for my lost expressions, for my occasional random comments, and for my lack of awareness at certain times, I was nicknamed ‘Spacey Stacey’ by my family. But now that I think about it, every time I was lost in my own little world, my eyes were unfocused. Every time I took a minute or several to ask just WHY we have belly buttons, my eyes were glazed and looking off somewhere beyond the horizon. All that blind looking really stretches your vision.
SO yes, sometimes I don’t remember the details of a converstion two seconds after it’s finished. Sometimes when you speak to me, you have to repeat yourself four or five times to get a response. Sometimes my irritating and completely nonsensical questions are hard to take. Sometimes you’re probably going to get upset with me for not properly focusing on teh Matter At Hand. But i think, despite all this, I’ve really been focusing where i was supposed to be focusing all along.
PS – I looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes are FREAKY. I tried to get a good shot on my cell phone, but no luck. You’ll have to make do with this: