There are certain standards of polite society regarding what you can tell on a first date, and what you maybe should hold back. When someone tells you about their mental instability and/or depression on a first date, it’s a dealbreaker, no matter how good the fit. The same thing goes for certain diseases, physical disorders, family or relationship problems, and emotional outbursts. Most of us have some of these at one time or another, but for a first date, it’s really too much to handle.
At the same time, there comes a certain point in the dating environment when trust becomes at issue if you don’t tell your questionable secrets. Eventually, all those not-so-nice parts of our lives that we cope with are going to come out. The question is when to bring them out. After a few dates? Once some sort of compatibility has been established?
My own secret is a little more obvious. In the world of online dating, networking, and generally hanging out, having a blog is something of a risk. What if potential (or current) employers stumble upon and see something (gasp!) unprofessional? What if potential dates stumble upon it, especially if you happen to talk about them? At the same time, my blog tells a great deal about who I am. It shows many of those aspects of my personality that are not evident on the first, second, or nth date. And that’s a plus. It gives something that just a chat over coffee won’t ever show.
At the same time, I’m not quite sure I’m ready to put myself out there so much. Sure, I’m already ‘out there’, purging myself to the world wide web, but most of the people who come here are either complete strangers or already know me pretty well. There’s not much local-area viewing of this blog (at least that I’ve been able to determine thus far). But do i bare my innermost soul to those I am dating, in the hopes that something good will come of it? Or do I refrain, at least for a time, from giving that more intimate perspective of me?