My lovely iron lung.

My friends and I are still fans of the ‘your mom’ jokes.  It’s like fortune cookies ending with ‘in bed’ – almost any phrase, especially an insult, can be recast by tagging ‘your mom’ at the end.  Someone says you’re ugly?  Say “Your mom is ugly.”  Someone implies you’re not astute?  Say “Your mom is dumb.”  There are endless variations to such tags, ranging from ‘your dog’ to ‘your grandpappy’.  Some of them are more creative than others.  Personal favorites from my friends include ‘your baked goods’ and ‘your iron lung’.

Now, iron lungs aren’t naturally funny for the people who still use them.  They may look funny, no matter how many tasteful or fun stickers are plastered to the outside, but in reality they are a very serious and needed piece of equipment.  A real iron lung kept Dianne Odell alive for 50+ years, until power outages and a failure of the backup generator allowed her to slip away.  Iron lungs are still in use for particular medical conditions such as Ondine’s curse (great name for a medical condition), a form of apnea that can happen even when awake.  I would certainly not want to disrespect anyone who must make use of an iron lung.  Nor would I want to upset Ondine.  Still, there is a sense of the ridiculous that surrounds them.  Maybe it’s their big and bulky nature.  Or maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have one, making the ‘your iron lung’ comment completely ridiculous, in the same way that ‘your piebald horse’ would be equally ridiculous.

Wow.  That was pretty good.  I think ‘your piebald horse’ should make the top ten list of ‘your mom’ jokes.

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