Short-term memory loss.

 I have always been a ‘naturally’ forgetful person.  In fact, I always really sympathized with Forgetful Jones on Sesame Street and felt like other characters were unduly mean to him.  It wasn’t his fault he was forgetful!  He was just a poor, little, lost muppet puppet, and he had been made that way.  In my own case, the forgetfulness was probably not so innocent.  I do still have trouble keeping track of things I do not find important – why clutter up your mind with random, pointless knowledge like where your car is parked or your best friend’s birthday?  Until today,  I always attributed as an unwillingness to focus on my part, rather than a really medical condition.  However, this article proved me wrong.  The real cause of my forgetfulness?  Lack of blueberries.

Now, some of you may be saying “I don’t eat a lot of blueberries, and my memory is fine”.  Some of you may be speaking in a language I don’t understand, saying , “I’ve never even seen a blueberry.”  Well, for those I can’t understand, you probably get your short-term memory drugs from some other arcane source such as the go-go fruit.  But the rest of you will understand me when I say that there’s a difference between ‘a lot’ of blueberries and ‘none’.

I hate blueberries.  I personally feel they are the most disgusting fruit on the planet, with the questionable exception of unripe persimmons or quince.  I’ve never had unripe quince myself, but I understand they’re gross.  I don’t know – something about their texture or substance gives them the taste of grainy mud.  It’s like rotting in my mouth.  I apologize to all of you out there who are blueberry lovers, and assure you that  i am not disparaging your love.  I merely seek to accurately represent my own personal loathing for the fruit.

With this loathing, comes extreme avoidance.  Just thinking about a blueberry makes my mouth pucker.   So I haven’t been eating them.  And since I can’t get the go-go fruit at my local market or mystic items purveyor, I’ve been neglecting the full nutrition of my short-term memory for years.  I am determined now to find a substitute and to get my mind back up to par.  I will find the elusive go-go, and make use, if it’s the last thing I do.  Unfortunately, as Wonka says, “They all turn into blueberries.”

Combustible spacecraft.

I like origami.  It’s simple, has clean lines, and builds on the idea that something can come out of nothing – voila, here’s a third dimension.  Also, it probably appeals to my OCD side.  The concept of something being folded and creased EXACTLY in half is somehow soothing.  Plus the paper itself is usually pretty, delicate, and colorful, and therefore attractive to the eye.  And there is a sort of science to it – the idea of space manipulation and the arrangement of the folds are very structured and mathematical.

However, the idea of origami masters teaming up with scientists and professors in Japan to launch a paper airplane from space for re-entry into the atmosphere seems a bit weird to me.  True, the Japanese are scientific enough to conduct a variety of heat and wind tests on their model paper plane, and due to the lightness of the paper plane, do not expect them to build up enough friction to burn up upon re-entry.  However, I still have some trouble as to how this concept will be helpful with other re-entry vehicles.   Will designs be more paper-airplane-shaped?  Will they do additional launches in which paper will play a role in bringing goods back down to the surface?

My recommendation – send a hot dog down inside the paper airplane.  I’m sure the resulting scorchy dog will be very scientific and revolutionize  the way we think about re-entry and the upper atmosphere.