I don’t really go to movies and I don’t really watch TV. Not because I don’t like movies or television, but because they are simply not a requirement for my life. Most of the time, I’m too busy with other things. Sure, I have a Netflix subscription, but it’s the one-at-a-time subscription, and I actually have to make time to watch it when it comes. Nevertheless, I am oddly drawn to the occasional cheesy movie. For example, the most recent film I saw in the theater was The Spiderwick Chronicles. I know, it’s sad. What’s worse is I dragged Mike with me too.
Still, I do have some sense of rationality when it comes to movies. For example, I thought 10,000 BC probably wouldn’t be the best movie. What were they thinking, really? It’s not funny – were they trying to make things along the lines of Troy and 300? Let me explain – if we’d had any epic prehistoric battles, they probably would have been passed down orally somehow. Where do you think myth comes from, anyway?
But, if filmmakers are looking for more epic battles to sell, I have the perfect suggestion: the Táin Bó Cúailnge. Not only does it have the requisite battle scenes between a variety of posturing heroes, the landscape of Ireland is beautiful, majestic, and a great place to stage really bloody battles. Plus, if you add in some of the pre-story stuff, there’s all the other parts necessary to a good movie – sex and marital jealousy, magic, revenge, mythical heroes, and ‘honor’. Plus lots of weird Irish place-names, which makes even the worst actors sound kinda cool. But then, I’m sure somebody will probably mess it up, even if they get the perfect script. I mean, look what they did to Beowulf.